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I was at a conference in New Orleans in November last year, and a good friend of mine (active duty Navy officer) decided to tag along with me. We were about to go to a networking event as part of the conference I was speaking at.

He asked me a straightforward question:

“What do I talk to these strangers about? I don’t know them.”

My response: “Keep it simple. Be yourself. Don’t talk about business. Get to know the person, not what they do, and you’ll be good. Have fun while you do it as well.”

A room full of strangers can be overwhelming. How do you dance the dance with strangers and strike up an informal conversation while not being pushy, while sounding authentic?

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You build your business development pipeline with opportunities that either have new faces behind them or relationships that you built over the years. Those relationships all started at one point or another from an introduction, a handshake, an email, a LinkedIn message, or a phone call that made two parties want to continue to work together.

You build your network with individuals that were once…strangers. Then relationships foster over time, and the foundation grows stronger and stronger.

You have to start somewhere with a stranger to build your professional relationship with them. Just have to do it again, and again.

The best relationships don’t start with your job title; they start with a real conversation.

This week, I’m breaking down the five moves that turn handshakes into actual opportunities and strangers into trusted allies.

Let’s dance.

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Let’s Break it Down

The Numbers Don’t Lie About Human Connection

Networking is not just set aside for senior leadership, business development, and forward-facing personnel. This is essential for those employees who want to get out and meet others within their industry, expand their knowledge base, and build their network, as it is incredibly beneficial in both the short and long term.

I’ve talked about networking in past newsletters here:

Approach with the Right Mindset

Stop Thinking Transactionally. Networking isn't about collecting contacts or getting immediate benefits. It's about building genuine relationships with people you find interesting and valuable.

Think Long-Term. The conversation you have today might not pay dividends for three years. But when it does, it might change the trajectory of your business.

Be Genuinely Curious. The most magnetic networkers are genuinely interested in other people's work, challenges, and perspectives. Curiosity is more attractive than competence.

Give Before You Get. Always look for ways to help others before asking for help yourself. This approach builds goodwill and positions you as a valuable connection.

Build Depth - Not Width

Nobody cares what you do. They care who you are.

Here’s what most people get wrong about networking (especially the senior crowd):
They open with their résumé. Talk too much. Forget the power is in listening, not pitching.

Many business push their name, their size, projects, who they know, their certifications, etc.

The result? Another short, shallow interaction that never goes anywhere. And they are everywhere.

If you just start talking with an individual at a networking event and it dives into business immediately, and they don’t know you or your services yet, it becomes very much a transactional conversation. You tell them what you do, and vice versa.

Followed by some awkward moments of silence.

Also, the individual you are talking with is quietly thinking to themselves, while you are talking to them, and quickly interpreting “How does this person help me, my business, and/or help my client make money and win?”

It is a very selfish game. And that conversation can be over as soon as your mouth opens.

It doesn’t matter how many times you follow up with them, you fell coming out of the gate.

If you want to win at networking at events, at the happy hour, or even if you meet someone at a coffee stand, you need to master the real art of connecting with people. It’s not about collecting business cards or casually mentioning your title; it’s about listening, being present, and building trust before building business.

Here's where most networking efforts die: in the failure to follow up meaningfully. Within 24-48 hours of meeting someone, send a personalized message that references something specific from your conversation.

The depth of the conversation you can remember, the more you stand out in their mind. Otherwise, you are among a stack of business cards that are bound to collect dust.

5 Moves to Make it Work

  1. Shut Up and Listen (Really Listen)
    Networking isn’t about talking; it’s 90% listening.
    Skip the mental script. Stop prepping your reply.
    Give them your full attention. Make them feel heard.
    People remember how you made them feel, not what you said.

  2. Find Common Ground…Fast
    Forget the surface stuff. Don’t ask, “So, what do you do?”
    Ask about their story. What are they excited about? Why did they come tonight?
    If you genuinely listen, you’ll spot something you share, background, challenge, or ambition. Don’t talk about work.
    That common thread? Pull at it. Dive deep. Instant connection.

  3. Don’t Talk Shop Right Away
    People do business with friends, not strangers.
    Open up. Share a lesson you learned, a challenge you’re tackling, something real.
    Be honest about something you don’t know.
    Authenticity is magnetic. Vulnerability beats boldness, every time.
    If they wanted to work with you right away, they would say so.

  4. That “So What Do You Do” Question is Bound to Drop
    We all know we are going to be asked this
    Make sure you add some context to the conversation.
    More dialogue…more conversations (Questions!)
    The person who asks the question -> in control of the conversation
    A question to the question. Keep it simple
    “I work in XYZ, would it help you if I gave you an example of the kinds of things that I do?”

  5. Follow Up Like a Human, Not a Robot
    The fortune isn’t in the first meeting, it’s in the follow-up.
    Send a quick note the next day. Reference your conversation.
    No canned “nice meeting you.” Instead:
    “Hey, that book you mentioned about trust, I found it on Amazon.
    Here’s an article I think you’ll enjoy.”
    The relationship starts now, not when you hit “connect.”

Start acting like the kind of person people want to know. Not just in the moment.

If you aren’t the right person, but know someone you can refer, make a recommendation on who you can introduce.

Be present. Be real. Ask good questions. Listen more than you talk. Then, follow up with a little generosity and zero agenda.

What the Internet Taught Me This Week

From new tools, recent trends, and market updates, here is what has been on my mind.

  1. Rising Cybersecurity Risks in Critical Infrastructure and Their Implications for Investors. Check it out here

  2. Apparently I’m in the wrong career field. A.I. Researchers Are Negotiating $250 Million Pay Packages. Just Like N.B.A. Stars. Check it out here

  3. Cybersecurity Maturity Model Certification (CMMC) readiness is coming in hot for October 2025. Check it out here.

Networking isn’t a numbers game. It’s a reputation game. Listening, asking real questions, and following up with value will put you light-years ahead of the pack.

The next time you walk into a room, drop the script and focus on being present. Your business cards won’t open doors; your mindset will.

Go out, build real connections, and watch what happens when trust sits at the table.
That’s how deals get started. That’s how leaders get remembered.

Maybe you can’t do it at scale, but it sure is quality over quantity.

See you next week.

Whenever you're ready, here are 4 ways I can help you:

  1. Unlocking Hidden Potential - Reconnecting with Past Clients for Explosive Growth - Check out my free eBook on how you can find hidden gems in your past clients and help you crush your sales goals.

  2. Build your Sales CRM - Download our free Sales eBook on How Your Sales Team Can Maximize Your CRM Tool. Whether it’s Hubspot, Salesforce, or another CRM tool, make sure you leverage it to your advantage.

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  4. Cribworks Advisor Program - Want more than just resources? Reach out to me and see if our Advisor Program can help you grow your business.

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