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6 Words That Kill Your Email Communication Power
And how your tone can make or break your communication.
Whitney Stowell
May 06, 2025
In partnership with
Read on: My website
Read time: 2 Minutes
Ever sent an email and felt like you tossed it into a black hole?
You’re not alone.
Every leader has watched a critical project stall, a deal slip, an important update, or a team’s energy drop-only when they hear these 6 words: “Well, I sent you an email.”
Not only can the energy be pulled right out of the room, but also how it can (and will) be received. If your tone is off, you’re not just risking confusion-you’re risking trust, momentum, and your relationship with the receiving party.
Here’s the truth: Hitting send is not the finish line. It’s barely the starting gun.
Just because “Send” was hit on an email, doesn’t mean your job is done.
Was this newsletter forwarded to you?
From the importance of the email, to the type of environment you work in, the culture, all the way down to the type of day the person you are sending the email to (whether internal or external) can dictate the way it is received.
We are going to give you an easy step on how to avoid this 6-word phrase.
Let’s dance.
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The Email You Sent Isn’t the Message They Got
We’ve all heard it:
“Well, I sent you an email.”
It’s usually said with frustration — a subtle implication that responsibility has been passed. But here's the hard truth: communication doesn’t happen when a message is sent — it happens when it's received, understood, and acted upon.
I have been on both the sending and receiving side of this.
On the receiving side
I’ve crossed items off my list of important emails I’ve needed to send, only to make sure they were sent, unaware that the receiving party did not see them.
They had other priorities. They were meeting with customers, dealing with the CEO and leadership, fighting for budgets, the list goes on. So when I was approached on the specific topic that I was supposed to discuss with him, it naturally rolled off my tongue that I had sent him an email.
Not well received.
But very easily fixable. I pivoted to make sure that when important emails are supposed to be sent, I’ll make sure that I connect to make sure that they are received. Via text, Slack message, or in person. I’ll make sure that the receiving party knows.
On the sending side
I have sent emails thinking, “Whew, got this done…ok it’s up to them now.” Check that task off the list. Not the best play (I’ve learned over the years from falling on my face…)
Onto the next task, the next fire to put out, the next customer need.
From those I have worked with, I had to get a strong understanding of their working styles, how they operate, what works for them, and what doesn’t. Some need to be personally followed up with (time and time again), others…a simple text. A few…face to face.
I didn’t want to leave anything to chance. I would rather overcommunicate than drop a 6-word phrase and not know how the other party might react.
Important messages are often buried under a mountain of priorities. Your email could be the tenth in a string of daily fires someone is putting out. Just because it was sent doesn’t mean it was seen — let alone absorbed.
Email overload is real. According to a study by the Radicati Group, the average office worker receives 121 emails per day (Statista). Amid that noise, your message needs more than good timing — it needs follow-through.
Don’t be lazy. There are times when being proactive can be the difference between strengthening relationships…or a downfall.
What Can I Do About This
If you don’t own your communication, you’re leaving your results to chance.
So stop worrying about being annoying. Worry about being ineffective.
The reality?
Most people are drowning in unread Slack, Teams, and Email notifications.
A polite nudge can cut through the noise and create progress
Here’s the playbook-simple, but not easy:
Follow up like your business depends on it. Because it does. One nudge can save a deal or a relationship. Doesn’t matter if it’s a simple task or a proposal.
Audit your tone. Read your last five emails out loud. Did you sound like a partner or a drill sergeant? If you wouldn’t say it face-to-face, don’t type it.
Clarity is king. Trade clever for clear. Every word should move the reader to action, not confusion.
Set the standard. If you want timely, positive, direct communication, model it. Your team will follow your lead, for better or worse.
Make it actionable. End every email with a clear next step and who owns it. No more “let me know your thoughts” black holes.
Tone isn’t just how something sounds — it’s how something feels. It can drive collaboration or stoke resistance. It can empower or alienate.
Your tone is the signal your team reads between the lines.
A dismissive tone kills initiative.
A sarcastic tone destroys trust.
An aggressive tone? It makes smart people play small.
Get it wrong, and you’ll be where no one wants to speak up.
Get it right, and you’ll get effective responses
A Harvard Business Review study found that 64% of employees reported that negative tone or incivility from leadership reduced their commitment to the organization (LinkedIn).
Even when tensions are high or deliverables are behind, tone determines whether your message becomes a rallying cry or a reprimand.
What the Internet Taught Me This Week
From new tools, recent trends, and market updates, here is what has been on my mind.
Your business isn’t built on emails.
It’s built on the trust, momentum, people, and actions those emails create. You need to communicate with clarity, consistency, and purpose.
If an email is important, show that it’s important. Overcommunicating might seem frustrating, but you can never assume that two parties are on the same page. The way you communicate, whether in person or via a digital platform, can be interpreted in many different ways.
When your communication is clear and intentional, it builds trust, speeds up action, and creates alignment across your team, your clients, and your partnerships.
Don’t hide behind the Send button.
See you next week.
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